Why I went back to America so I could try to come back to Japan

So, as you all know if you follow me on facebook, I had a very difficult decision to make recently. But, I never did really explain what it was to everyone, other than saying it was a scholarship.

Basically, I am attempting to return to Japan. I have realized that 4 months here is much too short for me to understand the culture in the way I want to, to gain a grasp of the language that I want to, and to spend time with the amazing people I have met here and don't want to leave. 

So, I spent a week furiously working on the Monbukagakusho Scholarship application. This is offered by the  Japanese government, and is for foreign students to study abroad in Japan. I am applying for the Research Student Scholarship (which will become Master's study after passing the university's entrance exam), which includes the following: a monthly stipend, airfare to and from Japan, and exemption of school fees for entrance examination, matriculation and tuition.

Basically guys, Master's is expensive. And study in Japan is expensive. And, so, without this scholarship, I will definitely not be coming back here for this. 

I turned in my application on Wednesday the 13th. And, I found out the next week Friday that I passed the first screening, and made it to the test and interview round. 

Which, would have to take place in Seattle. The following week.

It was a ridiculously hard decision to make. Should I really spend $1,600+ USD (over 130,000円) and miss an entire week of school (leaving my groupmates to present without me, and another friend to do most of the work on a project we had together) all for just a "chance" at getting a scholarship? After all, I could potentially fail my Japanese/English exams the first day, and not even move onto the interview portion. 

It was hard. Very hard. But, I ended up back in Seattle the next week. 

(Just some of my application and interview preparations ^^)

The way I see it... 

I have been praying a lot about this. I did my very best with my application. I had enlisted the help of my friends (with advice) and family (with both advice and putting together and turning in the paperwork for me since I wasn't able to myself). And, if God got me this far, maybe this is something that He wants for me. And, maybe this is something I could possible get - and 3 years of my life could potentially become so completely different than I had ever imagined. 

And, if I just left it here... I would never know. Even if I do not get chosen, I will know I have tried my hardest, instead of forever wondering what might have happened had I given it my all. 

And so, here I am. It feels unreal that I left Japan, went home, and came back in such a short amount of time. It felt unbelievable the entire time I was there too. And while the time I had was super short, I got EVERYTHING I needed done (including some medical tests and forms that still needed to be filled out and turned in, which had been hard to do in Japan). The tests and interview also went well. I feel like I did my best all the way through, and couldn't have done anything different.

Whatever the outcome, I have no regrets. The chance itself was enough. It will be a hard wait for the results, but with all the support I've received, I think that just the knowledge that so many people are behind me in all my life-efforts is enough to make everything I did worth it. Once again, I love you all. ♥