Culture Shock #4 - I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

When I get asked if I have any problems with living in Japan, I usually reply that there aren't many.

But, the truth is that the one big problem living in Japan has caused for me is simply usually too difficult and deep to explain. 

(By the way, I've even been planning this post in my head for a long time now, 
but I still am having difficulties writing it in the way I want. But, I'll try my best.)

Basically, my problem is this: I find it very hard being a girl here in Japan. And, I absolutely hate the fact that this is happening, but no matter how hard I try to not be, I feel like I'm more self-conscious than I ever have been in my life. 

Japan is a very different country from America. Yes, in America we have ideals: everyone wants to be thin. But, we aren't all able to do that (or, at least more people are not). And, the "normal" size is something I'm at least kind of close to, I feel like.

Not so, in Japan. The majority of Japanese (Asian, in general) girls, first of all, have the body type that can be thin (as in, no matter how much I dieted/worked out/whatever, I could never get that thin). Second, the "ideal beauty" is so much thinner, and I feel like the pressure is much greater as well.

I feel this difference every single day.

• When I try on clothes, and not even the "Large" fits me, it is frustrating. 
• When I see the uber-pretty girls with their long thin legs, tiny waists, and just general thinness... Yeah, I'm jealous.
• When my friends do things like complementing each other on how thin they are, and these already-very skinny girls talk about being on diets (as almost everyone is, here) or needing to diet... it's frustrating. And, though I don't want to be, I'm envious. 
• I even hear what guys have to say about girls and what types they like (and yes, I've heard them talk about skinniness being a factor). And, I feel kind of worthless after that. 

And, all those bolded words up there? They disgust me. But they're true, and I hate it so very much. 

I know that I shouldn't be thinking this way. But, no matter how many times I tell myself it is wrong, I do anyways. 

It's so very easy to look at all the girls around me, and feel horrible about myself. And in Japan, you can't get away from it. In American, I am also one of those people who always thinks I need to be thinner, but it's never been this extreme before. Even while I knew all about this before coming here, and tried to prepare myself, I find myself unable to resist this feeling of being completely and utterly...

Unpretty.

Which, is the weirdest thing, because I've never been told more in my life how "pretty" I am.

• My friends say it - in a very frank way, and actually quite often, which just doesn't happen so much in America
• My host family literally comments on how I'm so pretty to people that they introduce me to, and the times that they don't, the other person will bring it up on their own
• Complete strangers will say things to me: how I have a "pretty face," or something similar
• And most confusing of all: I get informed that other people say that about me (meaning, when I'm not there, they talk about me like that) 

I KNOW don't fit the "ideal" that the Japanese like. And, so I don't understand - is it just that everyone says nice things but don't really think them? Like, are they lying to make me feel good or something? That, I feel like I can believe, just because people here are so nice. But, what about the people that don't say that directly to me - clearly, they aren't just trying to make me feel better. So they must think it's true?

I am so confused.

And yet, it doesn't make me feel any better about myself.

I have found a song that addresses this issue. It is a mashup of two songs, so goes back and forth, back and forth - tryyyyying to feel pretty, but going back to not being able to. And, it is something that I feel I understand too well (aside from the one opposite line about being "too skinny," hah ><), right now.

I actually discovered this song during the first month of arriving here. And, it really resonated with me. I am a person who will listen to things on repeat when they like them, and totally make use of youtuberepeat.com with some of my favorite songs.

But, I have never listened to the same song so many times in my life.
This song will literally stay playing for hours at a time.
But, I can't say I agree with the lyrics, as the last word, "unpretty," is still the only one I can understand.

I feel like, this is the huge thing about Japan that I can say I don't like.
Because, I hate the fact that the way I look at myself has changed for the worse.
And, I don't know how to fix it. 

Culture Shock? #3 - Expressing Friendship

Something surprised me tonight.

I had sent a message to my group members during the week, just regarding preparation for tonight's class. And as usual, they all thanked me for the message, but what one guy said really surprised me.

He was very touched that I had opened my message with "Hi friends~" and said thank you for considering him my friend.

I was so shocked! I feel like in the US, this is not surprising to people, or they don't consider it a big deal. And, I wouldn't ever really expect someone to be affected like that by me calling them a friend (even if it does have a lot of meaning to me).

Granted, being the American that I am (lol), it still makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside too, to hear something like that said to me. To hear that someone considers you important - that's a pretty amazing feeling, right?

Well, to me it is. And that's why I always want to express that to others, so hopefully they get to feel the same way as I do. :)

It makes me wonder though. Is that uncommon here, among Japanese? Is it my frank way of speaking my mind that catches people off guard, or is this truly a rarity in Japan, where we learn in every single language class about how you constantly are dancing around outright saying the truth in Japanese? (For example: you may have the most legitimate excuse in the world, and yet you should often say something related to it, then trail off without finishing your sentence, which is a very important thing to learn to sound fluent...)

It also makes me question though - like I said, in America, I don't think people would ever really say a "wow, thanks for calling me your friend" type of thing.  I think they'd mostly keep it to themselves, if they even thought much of it at all… In contrast, when Japanese people are thankful? I can't get them to stop thanking me, even if I feel like I haven't done anything important at all!

Anyhow. It was something that caused me to think. 'Cause this could definitely be a culture difference. Maybe one culture doesn't express itself, while the other does? Or maybe one culture actually responds with their feelings of thanks, while the other hides it?

...Or, you know what? Maybe people just don't make friends quite as fast, no matter where you are. Whereas me? My group mates (and sooooo many other amazing friends I've met here) have already stolen a piece of my heart, and it's only growing with time. ;)

Either way. It warmed MY heart to respond to his comment with a " もちろん！Of course we're friends!" ♥ :)

Culture Shock! #2 - Old MacDonald wasn't the only one that had a farm...

Today, totally had a culture-trip!!

As I was climbing out of the cable-car we had taken down from the mountain we hiked up, I heard a very familiar tune.

"*something-something*-EE-I-EE-I-O!"

To say the least, I was QUITE confused, and totally thought I was hearing things. But, no, I heard the little boy singing it again, and I was totally surprised!!!

Had to run up to a Japanese friend, Shige, and ask him whether there was a children's song that has "EE-I-EE-I-O" in it. And, he looks super confused too, as he replied that of course there was! He and his friend that I just met today, Nobu, both looked up the lyrics to this song on their iphones.

The name in Japanese is ゆかいな牧場 ("Yukai-na Makiba" and per Wikipedia, this is literally: "Happy Farm").

And, here you go!

Please enable the captions if you want to read the lyrics! :D

(Btw, for those of you who speak Japanese, my friend Silvia and I thought the "あちもこちもどこでも" part was hilariously quite accurate - don't you think so too?! xD)

Upon looking this up at home, it is quite fascinating. The farmers are Ichiro and Jiro, and they have many animals as well, but since the Japanese sounds are different than English ones, even that is different!

Examples:
In America cows go "Moo" (pronounced "Muu"), whereas in Japan, they go "Moo" (pronounced "mow")!
In America dogs go "Bark-bark" (or "Arrff-arrff"), whereas in Japan they go "Wan-wan"!
In America pigs go "Oink-oink" whereas in Japan they go "Buu-buu"!
Fascinating, right?!

Actually, the really funny thing here was that Shige and Nobu totally didn't know that this was an English (and in fact, American) song. Whereas, I had been completely shocked to hear such a familiar tune (and at some parts even the same lyrics, or sounds, rather ^^) coming from a little kid in Japan!

Really though, surprising exchanges like this are actually not uncommon (though don't often happen in such a funny way!) when talking with my friends that I meet - both from Japan, and also from other countries.

Maybe countries share more things than we are even aware of. :)

Culture Shock! #1 - Japanese Exams in Japan?

Hi guys!
Yes, I am behind in posts.
Yes, I am trying to catch up.
No, I probably won't for a while. LOL.

Anyways! there are a million things that keep happening, and I still want to be able to share them with you! Because they don't always fit into my day-posts (or are rather more random, or separate little stories, or just outright deserve their own spotlight!), I figured I'd also start a series of short ones like this! Let me know if you find them interesting, boring, random, amusing, confusing, tedious, obvious, platypus, etc. (does anyone read my post anyways?), and if you want more! :D

Culture Shock! #1: Japanese Exams in Japan?

Today, my Japanese class had the most confusing test I have ever taken.
No, not hard-confusing. Just confusing-confusing.

As in, for the first hour or so of class, we went over the assigned homework. This included listening to dictations, fill-in-the-blanks, and multiple choice. And, we went over all the answers, so everyone had the correct ones.

Then, we had a test. Directly after. And... To my utmost confusion, it was the exact same questions as the homework we had gone over 30 seconds before.

At first, it seemed like it was a trick. Maybe you were /supposed/ to think that it was the same, then they'd catch you, and you get them all wrong. Sounds like something instructors would do (and have been known to do), right??

Nope. It was the same. Exactly the same.

My Japanese Sensei at UW who works so hard to make very challenging exams would be appalled. I was, myself. Lol :P Is this really how Japanese exams in Japan are?! Time will only tell, when I experience the rest of the exams this semester. x) All I know, is it makes me slightly tempted to get credit for these classes (and thus, a bunch of awesome grades, hopefully!), instead of basically auditing them like I currently am planning on doing.... ^^